Insanity
by Sakura Sango
Summary: Again Oz shakes his head, blond hair waving slightly as he tries to deny what is happening right before his eyes. He was not watching his timid, loving, wonderful Gil aim a gun at Break no matter how annoying he was and threaten to kill others.


**Title:** Insanity.

**Author:** Saku

**Rated:** PG

**Disclaimer:** I don't own nor do I imply that I do. I am only borrowing the Pandora Hearts characters for my own amusement and will return them when I'm done.

**Summary:** Again Oz shakes his head, blond hair waving slightly as he tries to deny what is happening right before his eyes. He was not watching his timid, loving, wonderful Gil aim a gun at Break (no matter how annoying he was) and threaten to kill others.

**A/N:** Anon is no longer Anon. Wrote this for the Pandora Hearts kink meme on LJ. *sighs* Hope it's good!

_x-x-x-  
_"_It's about time you graduated  
from being a spoiled brat  
or else eventually you'll use your own hand  
to hurt the thing most important to you."  
~Break, Chapter 40  
x-x-x-_

Gilbert feels the pounding behind his right eye. It throbs and punches him with all of its might, leaving him pressing a fist against his closed eye as he tries to force away the growing ache. Breaths come erratically as he tries to breathe through the pains; though he finds himself frozen, unable to grab a breath past the iron grip that freezes his lungs.

Teeth grit harshly as he tries his _hardest_ to ignore the pain (except for the fist that refuses to lower from his eye) and tries to watch the scene before him. He wants to run and grab Oz and get far far away. Yet the searing pain keeps him rooted to the spot, as he stares detachedly at the scene unfolding before him.

Off to the side he can see Break, the poor man looks ragged (much to worn out from the previous fight to call out Mad Hatter again), leaning against the cold, wet stone wall of a nearby building as he glares at the crimson cloaked man. He looks ready to fight, and if needed draw blood.

Oz, however, is frozen to the spot as he stares at the cloaked man. His eyes widen ever so slowly, centimeter by centimeter as his lithe body begins to shake. Blond hair sways as he tries to deny the figure before him, trying to understand why _he _was standing here.

"F-father," the usually sure and strong voice falters as Oz takes a step backwards. For the first time in such a long time Oz _finally_ looks his age, as he shakes his head harder at the silent figure before him. Wobbly knees shake too hard for him to stay upright, and the ground comes rushing up too quickly for the boy to save himself. Knees and butt slam harshly into the cobbled ground and the boy hisses in pain.

"I knew I should have found someone stronger to finish the job." The cloaked figure speaks, his voice full of malice and hate.

Gil digs his teeth into his tongue, a canine nicking the edge as blood wells in his mouth, as the pain sears through his head. The pulsating pain is slowly becoming too much for him, and his stomach rolls uncomfortably. He can barely breathe anymore. His chest shakes as he tries to grab a decent breath.

"It hurts…" Gil whispers as his fist slowly slides away from his eye, only to fist his dark ebony hair. His breaths come out in wheezed pants as he tries to ignore the pain. _He wants nothing more then to silence the voice in his head!_

A crimson eye narrows as Break side glances at the black clad boy. He knows this reaction (he remembers it all too well) knows what will happen if he does not stop it soon. Shakily he tries to push himself upright, only to fall against the wall again.

"What do you mean?" Oz's vision tunnels as he focuses on his father. The same man that has renounced him several times, and even tossed him into the Abyss. Even when he is kneeling on the ground, dirt gathering and sticking to his pale skin, Oz tries to act grown up. He tries to keep the waver out of his voice and tries to act brave. He refuses to let _anyone_, especially Gilbert, realize how much this moment is killing him.

"It hurts," Gil finally breaks away from the scene before him to look around. He remembers hearing his gun fall partway through the fight, but he cannot remember where it had fallen; Oz had agreed to look for it. But where was it. He needs it _now._

"Kill him," tears well in Gil's eyes as he tries to ignore the searing pain. Every breath sends jolts down his spine to lick at his tailbone before rushing back up his spinal cord to slam uncomfortably into the bottom of his skull. "Kill him," lips slowly form each letter as he forces the ragged words out of his mouth.

Knees crash into the hard ground has Gill tries to shake away the voice. He knows it will hurt Oz, hurt his master, for his father to die- no matter how disgraceful he is. Yet…

Yet the voice is just too loud, and it terrifies him.

"Kill him," Gil whispers again from his place on the ground. Through the haze he can see Oz mimicking his position before him. And again he tries to find his gun. He needs it to kill Zai, kill the one who was causing his master pain.

"Exactly what I said, next time I must find better hired help." The man scoffs as he turns around, crimson fabric bellowing around him before he starts to walk away from the three.

Break watches Gil closely as he tries to find the energy to stand on his own. He _knows_ that this will not end well, and again he wants to knock Gil over the head for even thinking of such a thing, even if he is just a helpless victim of brainwashing.

"Kill him. Anyone who hurts master must die!" Gill looks off to the side and smiles at the glinting metal. Slowly he crawls over to the discarded gun, fingers wrapping around the chilled metal as he pulls it closer to him.

"What they say is true," Zai mutters over his shoulder, not caring if any of them are listening. His hopes of dealing with that boy today were ruined when the three misfits defeated the Chain. And now he just wants to go back and figure out another plan. He can never bear to be around the blond boy for too long. "If you want something done right, do it yourself."

"_Kill him. It hurts. Stop it."_

Oz swears he can hear someone whispering, but it is so light- though cryptic as hell- and he wants to shake away the voice that washes over him. No one should ever die, be killed.

Without a second glance or word he silently slips into the crowd and disappears from their sight. As soon as his father leaves, Oz feels the last of his strength (the strength that has kept him on his knees) leave him as he sits on his heels. Fingers draw nonsensical designs on the dusty ground as the boy laughs; he winces as he realizes how cynical the gesture sounds- he wants to shake off their worries, not build them.

"Well," he laughs out cheerfully as his finger swoops around in the dust, making an elegant flowering loop, "at least we can tell the Headquarters who sent the Chain after us." Blond hair veils his face, keeping his eyes hidden. He _knows_ that his bright emerald eyes do not reflect the same joy that his voice does, and he wants to hide his true feelings from them.

"Kill him!" Gill cries out as he shakily stands. "I'll kill him. I must kill those who hurt master."

Break's eye widens as he notices the tight, shaky, two fisted grip that Gil has on his trusty handgun. With the last of his strength, every muscle straining to push himself off of the wall, Break forces himself in front of Gil, arms flung out as if to shield any wayward bullets. Swallowing hard he tries to not remember the last time they were face to face like this. Yet, he cannot help but to notice the same fearful look in the poor boy's eyes. For a split second he wants nothing more then to walk over and hug his 'Left Eye.'

"Kill him. Threats to master must be killed." Gil raises his gun at Break, the barrel shaking as he aims at Break's chest.

And just like that Break's urge to hug Gilbert close while trying to make him feel better suddenly deflates and anger swells as he glares at the man before him.

The sudden ruckus shakes Oz from his dust drawings as he slides around, only to stare in horror at Gil pointing a gun at Break. Granted there have been times he felt like doing the same, felt the overwhelming urge to shoot at the annoying clown (and then take a bullet to the equally annoying Emily). But this…Oz cannot even understand why this is happening.

Without a second thought he jumps up, eyes widening in horror, as he tries to step between the two of his friends. He does _not _want this, does not want blood shed between the two of them! His mind reels, spinning in circles as he tries to understand what is happening.

"What…what are you doing Gil," Oz laughs brokenly as he looks into the golden eyes of his friend. And for a second they scare him. He has never in his life seen Gil with such cold, murderous eyes before. This is _not _the Gilbert he knew and grew up with, no this was some imposter wearing his skin. It had to be! There was no other explanation!

Again Oz shakes his head, blond hair waving slightly as he tries to deny what is happening right before his eyes. He was not watching his timid, loving, wonderful Gil aim a gun at Break (no matter how annoying he was) and threaten to kill others. The boy takes another timid step, arm still raised as if to grab at the gun, closer to the two. Blinking Oz takes another step, his hand brushing Break's flowing sleeve.

"Don't do this." Break warns as he holds onto his cane tightly, his right hand separating the blade from the scabbard. "Gilbert, you are going to hurt what is the most precious to you if you keep up this childish act. Don't do this!"

Oz freezes, hand remaining outstretched at Break's voice. Never has he heard such a strong voice escape the childish man and it freezes his every action.

Though it has the opposite effect on Gil, as the ebony haired man steps closer as if to dare Break. "Kill him. It hurts. I must kill those who threaten my master. Kill him. I must kill him." Shakily his left hand slips away from the gun, to grip painfully at his hair as he tries to ignore the searing pains that rip through his brain. "It hurts," he whimpers, his eyes glistening in unshed tears.

For a second Oz sees the real Gil again, and wonders if his Gil really is not just hidden somewhere. Still the blond refuses to believe that this Gil is his Gil. "Come on," he whispers roughly. "I'm fine I swear. Let's go find Alice and get her some meat. I mean I know she must be hungry right."

But the ebony haired man does not listen as he takes another step closer, eyes glinting. "You said," Gil's voice is rough and for a second Oz jumps terrified of the man before him (he rather fight the Chain alone the face this Gil), "that you were the one bringing harm to my master."

For a second Break wants to swear violently that out of _everything_ that was said, of course he would remember that!

Oz blinks as he tries to understand what is going on. Suddenly the conversation- that he was barely able to stay up to speed with- has taken a sharp turn and he is left fumbling out in the wastelands trying to find it again.

A gloved finger pulls back the hammer of his black gun, carefully he raises the gun until it aims perfectly in between Break's eyes. The movement leaves Oz in a whirlwind of confusion, this isn't the Gil he knows! Oz knows deep in his heart it isn't. And he wants to scream it out loud, tell Gil and Break that this is stupid.

A crimson eye narrows viciously as Break moves, making sure to duck slightly to throw off the aim as he closes off the distance between the two of them. Metal glints as Break holds his sword against Gil's neck, the point pressing dangerously close to the man's trachea. Blood darkens the tip of the blade as Break presses in slightly, the pale skin indenting before blood drips onto the steel, effectively halting Gilbert's advances.

"Gil!" Oz cries out, tears staining his cheeks. He has _never_ seen the peaceful and shy Gilbert loose his composure like this and it terrifies him. Rattles him to the core to see such a murderous glint in the golden eyes. Even when he shot to protect him, Oz has never seen his servant's eyes glisten this coldly.

"Please stop this! It's stupid guys. We need to go home now. Gil please. Uncle Oscar is going to be waiting for us. Please! **Pleeeaaase!**" Oz screams out as he remains frozen solid, his knees quake as he tries to find the strength to move. To stop Gilbert from making a large mistake, a mistake that he will regret for the rest of his life!

Tears finally escape golden eyes as they slip down Gil's pale cheeks. His right hand shakes, the barrel of the gun dancing in the air as it moves from Break's right temple, down to his nose, and back up to the left temple. Fingers tighten on the trigger as he tries to keep the gun still long enough to fire.

His eye narrows as Break pulls the sword back- _he knew it would not work, it had not worked last time either_- and flips it in his hands so that the blood stained tip is behind him and the handle is in front. Hands grip tightly at the handle as he rushes forward.

Gasping Oz pulls his outstretched hand back as he remains frozen in horror at the fight erupting between the two of them. Fear grabs at his heart, holding it hostage, as he tries to call out. To scream at them to stop this madness!

Golden eyes widen as he watches Break duck, feet pressing into the ground, before the silver haired man launches himself forward. Shakily he drags the gun down, barrel rapidly trying to aim at the moving target. Fingers squeeze the trigger and the black handgun recoils, silver bullet flowing effortlessly through the air. Oz gasps as he feels _and hears_ the bullet whiz past him and dig deeply into a stone wall behind him.

Break snarls as he presses his hands forward into Gilbert's stomach, digging the handle deeply. He is almost certain that he hears a rib crack as he slams into the crazed boy. Gil coughs as the death grip on his gun is loosened. Black metal falls to the ground, clattering noisily before coming to rest not too far away from the stunned Oz.

Gilbert coughs a second time before collapsing into Break's waiting arms. Golden eyes roll back as he feels the darkness slowly take over, swallowing him alive into peaceful unconsciousness that Gil knows will make the voice shut up.

"Damn it," Break mutters as he hugs the knocked out Raven close to his chest. "If you keep this up you are going to kill the one thing you love most." His voice wafts over the collapsed man's unhearing ears before fluttering into the night sky.

"Is…" Oz finally finds the strength to move, though he cannot keep his legs from shaking violently with each step. Hesitant steps bring him closer to the two as he warily watches over the two. "Is he ok?"

Suddenly Break remembers the third member of their party, remembers that poor Oz has never seen this reaction before, as he turns around flashing his trademark smile. "Don't worry, we just had a minor meltdown. But he's sleeping now. And when he wakes up, Gil will be back to normal. I promise."

A pale hand reaches up to push away the unruly, black strands that block Gil's face. emerald eyes spy the drying tear trails that stain his friend's cheeks and Oz cannot help but to feel his heart jerk as he wonders why Gil reacted so strongly. Wonders about all of the fear, hurt and heart crushing agony that must encase him every second; for he knows _without a doubt_ that there is no way Gilbert (his Gilbert) would ever react so violently, unless he was drowning in misery.

Misery that _he_ has caused. Oz feels the guilt build in his heart before sliding to the pit of his stomach, where it sits heavily. It was his fault- not his father's, or Gil's, or even the Baskerville's- it was only Oz's fault that Gilbert was currently lying in Break's arms, tears still occasionally escaping closed eyes.

Smiling brokenly, he cannot find the energy to fake emotion into his smiles, Oz leans forward as he raises to tiptoes to press a soft, butterfly light kiss on his servant's temple. "I'm sorry Gil." He whispers while brushing back wavy, ebony strands. "I'm so sorry I caused you so much trouble. I promise to never cause you this much agony. Please just stay the way you are, just stay the Gil I've always known. And I'll stay happy too."

Break cannot find it in him to tell Oz the truth, or at least as much of the truth he knows (does he even know the real truth?). Instead he forces a smile back on his face as he carefully maneuvers Gilbert (reminding himself to tease _Raven_ later about how much he weighs) until he is able to carry the man piggy back style.

"Well I think we need to find the fourth person in our little group." Break calls out as he skips ahead, moving freely despite the extra weight on his back. Gilbert's head lulls from side to side- moving with Break's erratic skips and steps.

Oz remains still as he watches the two…skip…off into the sunset. His hands and knees are still shaking, and he is still terrified of what he saw. What he heard. Instead he just breathes deeply, as he tries to push the images away. He knows that they will never leave him. Oz will always remember this night and just like always, he forces himself to decide to ignore it. Instead of letting it drag him down, he forces himself to push it away and smile brightly while trying to pretend it does not bother him.

Swallowing hard Oz closes his eyes and takes one last deep, soothing breath before letting one of his trademark smiles cross his face. "Hey wait up!" He cries out cheerfully, wincing at how overly sweet it sounds to his own ears (it must kill Break to listen to it).

As he catches up to the two, Oz sneaks one last peak at the unconscious man that is draped over Break's back and again Oz promises to himself and to the sleeping Gil that he will work harder to save the both of them.


End file.
